


Idefix has to many good ideas

by Serrenedy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-18
Packaged: 2018-03-12 06:22:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3346781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serrenedy/pseuds/Serrenedy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is just a collection of short works based on the prompts given by the AMAZING artist tumblr user Idefix. Some of the works may be connected, I'll mention it if so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Signs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Idefix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idefix/gifts).



> Characters without descriptions have been drawn by Idefix. Characters WITH descriptions are me trying (and failing) to make a picture with words. Speaking of which, I know in the drawings Gamzee has dreads, however I wasn't sure if you could dye dreads so, braids. I tried to destroy typos and such, but I am only human. Also, there is a reason Karkat is referred to as Gamzee's boyfriend, that'll show up later.

* * *

        Sollux was amused. Sollux had severe bi-polar disorder and usually hated himself and/or everything around him. His few manic spells were spent, for the most part, in his basement missing school as he worked on a project that would inevitably blow up his computer. His depressive states were spent around his boyfriend Eridan, who was the only one able to pull him out of them. Long story short, unless he was insulting someone (usually Eridan) it was a crime against nature for the sixteen year old genius to be happy. Yet, he greeted Karkat with a large smile and even a hug, chuckling about something under his breath. This could only mean that something was _horribly_ wrong, for Sollux was horribly ashamed of both his crookedly sharp teeth and of the braces fixing them.

          “What is it you fucking asshole?” Sollux chuckled again, a slight hissing sound caused from the other teen’s habit of literally biting his tongue to keep himself from speaking. Karkat narrowed his eyes at the fucktard he unfortunately called a best friend. “So you’re just gonna keep hissing at me? Can’t even fucking laugh right, I mean-it figures you can’t do anything right.”

          “I can hack fucking thircles around you and we both know that, tho if you want me to do your programing homework for you you’ll let me enjoy the thupid ass look you’re gonna have in about two minutes.” Before Karkat could reply to the second generation Pilipino, there was a hushed cough that he would know from anywhere. Without looking back, Karkat and Sollux both moved their spaces to allow Tavros to sit.

          “Thanks” The Hispanic boy muttered in an accent that hadn’t quite gone away. “What were you two arguing about this afternoon?” Sollux took one look at the two of them, and burst into cackles that eventually faded back into his normal hissing chuckles. Tavros and Karkat looked at one another. They were as different as day and night, but Sollux managed to find the both of them funny. Either he was off his meds—which NO ONE ALLOWED after the disaster that had happened the last time, or the funny thing was the one thing both boys had in common—their boyfriend.

          “What the fuck did Gamzee do this time?” Karkat asked, his anger draining from him in a sigh, because he honestly had no more energy for Gamzee or any of his bullshit. Sollux refused to answer, the hissing growing louder in response.

          “What’s up my most miraculous ass motherfuckers?” Sollux’s laughter filled the lunchroom, Tavros took his own deep breath before turning to see, and Karkat valiantly tried to ignore the situation until Tavros’ frantic pulling on his sweater forced him to deal with it.

          “WHAT THE EVERLOVING MOTHERFUCK DID YOU DO YOU GOD DAMMED IDIOT ASS OF EPIC PROPORTIONNS!!!!!!!” Gamzee pouted. He had taken it upon himself to turn his long thick braids, eyebrows, even his lashes all as purple as his favorite fucking shirt, and knowing Gamzee, it went even farther than that. Tavros hadn’t been able to speak, and was still staring in openmouthed horror.

          “I thought you all thought it was a good motherfucking idea!” Tavros woke from his stupor just enough to shake his head in the negative. Karkat, meanwhile, had gone entirely red with rage and was using every _last_ ounce of self-control to not explode again.

          “Gamzee” Tavros spoke carefully, fearful of Karkat’s reactions—because when he got that red, the next thing he started doing was throwing punches and he really didn’t want to talk to his dad about bruises anymore. “We didn’t talk about this…at all.” Gamzee looked confused.

          “Yeah we did! I all up and asked your opinions ‘cause I wanted to up and look my best for the dance this weekend.” Tavros quietly shook his head again. Gamzee pouted, confused as he sometimes did and started fiddling his hands, as he often did when he was excited, mad, sad, or any other extreme emotion, such as worried that he’d done something to make either or both of his boyfriends upset with him.

          “Oh calm down you stupid fuck.” Karkat growled when he saw the twitchy hands tick. “No one’s mad at you; it’s your fucking hair on your god dammed body.” Tavros nodded his agreement.

          “It’s just…um…shocking” Tavros smiled while Karkat scoffed. ‘Shocking’ ‘surprising’ and ‘unique’ were translatable from Tavros speak as ‘Crazy, holy fuck, how did I let this happen’. To be fair, he was following the same line of thought.

          “I’m real sorry I up and shocked you motherfuckers, I coulda sworn I asked about it…more than once even.” Karkat and Tavros shared a look before looking back at their shared boyfriend. Karkat resolved to force himself to listen to Gamzee a bit more, he might’ve slipped in this question during ramblings about miracles. Tavros meanwhile, racked his brain for anytime the question might have come up at all, and more importantly—how he or Karkat missed it _multiple_ times.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

         “Hey you miraculous motherfuckers ready for the circus tomorrow?” Karkat and Tavros looked at each other from across the room, then back to their boyfriend, who was on the bed looking at his math textbook kinda like it was his Greek textbook. “Cause the ticket’s been grinning at me since I got em.” He smiled wide and caused his face paint to do all sorts of odd contouring things. Karkat had been ready to explode with worry, hence the study session at Tav’s house, so Tavros was the one to bite the bullet.

          “Gamzee, it’s gonna be midterms on Monday, and we all need all the studying we can get. Why would you plan this for Sunday night?”

           “Cause it’ll de-stress us right before the test.” Karkat got red again, so Tavros did the ‘diplomatic’ thing and pushed the history textbook in front of his face so he could at least attempt to study.

           “ _Dios Mio_ ,Gamzee, if anything you should’ve gotten the tickets right _after_ the test.” Gamzee frowned; he made a sad honking noise—another oddity of his.

           “But I asked ya’ll motherfuckers and everything. And you all said it was a bitchtits idea.” He pouted harder. Tavros was almost as confused as he had been a few weeks ago with the hair situation.

            “Did you ask me or Karkat?” He questioned cautiously.

             “Both of ya’ll motherfuckers!” Gamzee pouted again. There was a call of Spanish from downstairs, possibly a complaint about language. Tavros altered the pitch of his voice into the one his father was more comfortable with, (the man knew neither about Tavros’ gender, sexuality, or that he was dating Gamzee, to him Tavris was still the four year old girl hiding behind her mother’s skirt.) and shouted an answer to him before turning back to Gamzee.

            “Alright, do you remember _exactly_ when this conversation was? Cause I’m drawing a blank.” Gamzee shrugged.

            “Sometime since the Circus came to town, so, like—a month ago? Like—at most?” Tavros blinked at him in confusion. Next to him, Karkat lowered the book to try and figure it out himself, as they’d both been listening to him more—and aside from dubbing his new hair a miracle and asking if he could dye Karkat’s red to match is eyes (which was shot down) there had been no mention of any questionable plans. He pouted again.

            “I’m sorry, I’ll try and see ifin I can find some motherfuckers buy the tickets offa me” Gamzee pouted again, and suddenly the two remembered the only time they could recall haring about the circus, mainly that it wasn’t going to be in town past next week. No wonder Gamzee hadn’t seemed at all upset by the news—he already had tickets. Karkat snarled once.

          “No, we’ll go to the stupid ass circus with you.” He didn’t really feel bad taking the decision away from Tavros, as the boy was probably the only one of them that was gonna pass any of his tests. The boy next to him simply laughed at the utter defeat in Karkat’s voice and demeanor.

          “That means we have to study harder, we have even less time now.” Karkat glared at Tavros for his comment, but the younger teen just smiled. Karkat groaned at how easily he was controlled, and almost didn’t hear the joyful honk that warned him about twenty seconds before he was pulled into a group hug. Gamzee, in his joy started doing his odd hand motions again. Karkat rolled his eyes and went back to studying. Tavros smiled at the odd pile of clown and just bopped his head a few times at the almost beat like gasping the other tended to do when he moved his hands like that.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Tavros practically tackled Karkat in the hallway the next month as he dragged him into an empty classroom.

         “What the actual fuck?”

         “Did you agree to getting in Gamzee’s car” Tavros asked hurriedly. It was only then that Karkat noticed that the other boy was flushed and out of breath. “He said he was bringing us up to his house to see his brother. Kar, I didn’t agree to this—I don’t even know how he got his license, he’s _gonna_ kill us.” Karkat blinked at the panicking boy for a few moments, before the albino took a deep breath and smacked the other hard enough to cause an immediate mark.

          “CALM DOWN!” Tavros was quiet, though still on the edge of hyperventilating. It was a well-known fact that Gamzee managed to get into an accident almost every time he drove the assault vehicle his father had decided to give him for his last birthday. It was a wonder how the police had managed to ignore him quite like they did; they were usually all for stopping wealthy young African American males. “I’m not going to let him kill us” Karkat grit out between his teeth. “I’m going to drive. I have my permit, he’s going to sit in the front seat, and we’re gonna hope like hell it’s not a stick shift.” Tavros nodded shakily, but Karkat was racking his mind trying to figure out when Gamzee had even mentioned Kurloz coming back from his tour.

The car, as it turned out, _was_ a stick shift. It took an awful lot of cursing, a few prayers—mostly in Spanish but entirely from Tavros—and multiple inquires about taking back the wheel from Gamzee, but they made what should have been a forty five minute drive had they been going slow (twenty minutes if Gamzee had driven) in a little over two hours. Once there Tavros spent a few good minutes on the ground, curled into the fetal position and muttering Spanish nothings that Karkat should have understood in Spanish 3 but didn’t and so was sure he’d failed the midterm a few weeks ago. Gamzee was checking his car—ignoring Karkat’s screams that if it hadn’t managed to total it yet then nothing could hurt it. After Tavros managed to pry himself from the ground the trio headed inside to meet Kurloz, in two cases—for the first time. They decided on the kitchen first, both as Kurloz might have been eating since they were supposed to go eat and had taken longer than expected, and the fact that everyone was hungry. There was someone at the table, though he was folded in on himself asleep and they could see little more than the wild braids that swarmed around his head like a nest.

        “KUR—BRO!” Gamzee shouted, and startled the other awake. Upon seeing his face, Karkat let out a particularly loud curse, causing everyone to look at him.

         “Sorry…the…the paint, and the piercing and…just…needed a warning” He turned his head firmly to the ground, the bright red blush coating his features. Somehow, knowing both Gamzee and his father wore face paint didn’t translate to the fact that his brother probably would to. Kurloz not only had face paint in the shape of a skull outlining his features, but also a plethora of piercings and a sleeve done. He smiled at the group, white teeth flashing behind black snake and angel bites. He stood then, and it was astounding. At 6’2”, Gamzee was the tallest person Karkat or Tavros knew, or rather had known. Kurloz, even while slumping was at least 7’ tall. He crossed the room in two steps, before grabbing Gamzee in a hug that lifted the other off the floor. Gamzee laughed at his brother and Kurloz started to shake in silent laughter as well. The older boy put Gamzee down and Gamzee seemed to remember something then. “Yooo, I forgot that shit at the school!” Kurloz raised an eyebrow at him. “Your gift bro! Hold up, imma be right back.” With that the 17 year old departed and left his boyfriends alone with his brother. Tavros tried to grab Gamzee before he actually left, but missed the quickly moving Capricorn before it was possible.

        “Umm…Hi” Kurloz smiled widely, and waved at the younger boy. Tavros began to breathe a bit easier. “I like your tattoos” He pointed to the large black and white sugar skill motif that snaked down Kurloz’s entire arm and the older boy smiled again and pulled him into a hug.”

        “Your brother’s a piece of work” Karkat grumbled angrily as he stared at the spot Gamzee had just vacated. Neither he nor Tavros were any good with new people, and no matter how much information they’d been fed on Kurloz, he was still a _new_ person. Kurloz released Tavros to throw his head back in silent laughter, then began to fiddle his hands.

         “Oh you do that too?” Tavros asked. Kurloz stopped moving them to blink in confusion. “That hand thing. Gamzee does it when he gets to excited. You don’t have to be nervous of us, we’re probably more scared of you.” Kurloz blinked at him again, a realization slowly dawning in his eyes. Tavros didn’t see the light, nor the way his mouth started twitching, he had turned to Karkat to get some help with proving how nice they were.

        “Yeah, Gam told us you dance? How is that?” He shrugged. He wasn’t very good at this at all. Kurloz fell to the ground then, to the utter confusion of Both Karkat and Tavros. He was shaking slightly, and if they listened, they could hear a slight wheezing of air. “What the Fuck?” Karkat questioned, Tavros shrugged—for he had no answer for the situation they were seeing. Kurloz had to struggle to his feet, and go to the refrigerator for the whiteboard.

        “Um, can you tell us what’s so funny?” Tavros asked. This made Kurloz laugh harder, and he scribbled something out on the whiteboard, before crossing back to the two and presenting it to them to read.

 

**_ That is just too MOTHERFUCKIN Hilarious. _ **

**_ All the Motherfuckin information Gamzee up and schoolfed ya’ll abut me. Brothers, I couldn’t speak ifin I wanted to. This motherfuckers mute as shit. Guessin Gam’s dumbass aint tell yall he speak A.S.L neither? How much shit ya’ll up and agrred to without all up and bein aware? This is like the tenth time that shit all up and happened.  _ **

 

Karkat and Tavros stared at the message in openmouthed horror, then the two looked back up to Kurloz trying his hardest not to collapse laughing again.

        “THAT FUCKER” Kurloz lost his challenge and collapsed at Tavros’ feet. Tavris himself had grabbed the whiteboard as it started to fall, and stared at the message. The only thing on his mind was the four or five words in A.S.L. he actually recognized. As Karkat continued to spit and curse like a dying cat, Tavros took his own deep breath and try to convince himself not to kill his boyfriend when he walked back through the door.

 

 

* * *

 

 

         “This is so fucking stupid” Karkat threw the book across the library again, while Aranea—the librarian, shushed him again.

         “Aww Kar bro you was getting it” Gamzee encouraged him again. Tavros smiled behind his book. It had taken quite a bit of searching to find an A.S.L. book in Spanish, but they had managed it, and Tavros was doing—so far, about 100% better than Karkat…which was still bad as he couldn’t manage to string together a coherent paragraph or even figure out what Gamzee was asking half the time.

        “This is fucking stupid as shit and your dumb ass should just stay speaking!” Karkat was pouting again. Gamzee hugged him again, then smiled and said something that was probably encouraging. Not that Karkat could understand, because he’d used his hands to say it. “LISTEN HERE YOU FUCKING DICK HEADED DOUCHE NUGGET”

        “KARKAT OUT” Aranea shouted and with that the trio had to leave the library…for the 8th time that week. Gamzee mad another motion with his hands, causing Karkat’s eye to twitch.

        “What the ever-loving fuck does you dicking around with your god damned hands mean this time you demented fucking clown. Or are you just reaffirming your dedication to being the most annoying asshole to ever grace the face of this god forsaken rock” Gamzee’s ever-present smile flipped upside down in a pout.

        “I think he said that…you’ll get it soon?” Gamzee’s smile could outshine the sun as he nodded vigorously. Tavros smiled and blushed a bit as Gamzee’s hands went crazy. “Wait, wait—go slower, I caught that one.” Karkat groaned and rolled his eyes at the pair, but returned to the book he’d nicked from under Aranea’s nose.


	2. Spanish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I suck at Spanish. Like, my Spanish is public high school and Into the heights. It's why Tavros repeats 'No me Diga' so often, and also why when there's Spanish being spoken it's either mentioned or when Spanish is being spoken it's crossed out. I actually speak Spanish kinda like Gamzee...but with a better accent. That being said-I hope I haven't offended to many people with this Spanish. Also, this is the same universe as Signs, but earlier, by like a year.

 Karkat Vantas, Equius Zahhak, Sollux Captor, and Eridan Ampora were all pissed as hell. This was caused by the fact that a new exchange student was due to come in any day now, however hadn’t due to the fact that their transfer papers had gotten lost somewhere. Their anger was not because of this mysterious student, but rather the reaction to new student coming. Not that it was surprising, in the small town of Skia, unless it was a Carapise cousin—no one new came into town. However, Feferi Peixes, Aradia Megido, Nepeta Leijon, and Gamzee Makara were losing their _fucking_ minds over the thought of a possible new friend. Vriska Serket, Terezi Pyrope, Dave Strider, and John Egbert were also going crazy, but the aforementioned boys had to deal with those particular friends the least, also—the main culprits of going crazy were, individually, MUCH worse than the rest of the buzzing school combined.  

        “I can’t do thith” Sollux shivered horribly as he entered the empty classroom that had been commandeered as the ‘this kid is STILL not fucking here and it’s been a damn month’ support group. “I love A.A. but HOLY FUCKING THIT!” The lanky computer nerd collapsed in on himself and started to shake. Eridan, the only other one in the room had been enjoying the peace and quiet without Fef glubbing about if the new kid would be a good swimmer and want to join the team. He took a few hesitant steps over and awkwardly patted at the boy muttering about how he didn’t _know_ if the kid would be into archeology or not. The door opened again, almost flying off its hinges as Equius ducked in and slammed it behind him. He shuddered once.

        “I will be most pleased when this child finally arrives” He ground out. Equius was the youngest kid in school, jumping about four grades—he was also the snobbiest, which was a feat considering Eridan, and the most easily nervous child ever. Even at the moment, he was sweating from fear of Nepeta being angry that he ditched her. Though, to his credit, he waited until she and Aradia were deep in a conversation about if the new kid would like roleplaying and then going into a possible character for them. “Allegedly, they are to arrive within the week, however, that is the same sentiment that was repeated last week and the week before. I am beginning to think this child is a figment of our collective imagination.

        “No” Eridan pouted. “In my imagination I’d make sure she was the best swimmer ever if only to shut Fef up.” Feferi was the captain of the girl’s swim team…also captain of the volleyball team, track team, baseball team, and lacrosse team. She was the head of the yearbook committee, prom committee, student U.N., and a juror on the student Court council—she’d tried out for Judge, but Terezi had beat her out for it. She was the editor for the school paper where Jane Crocker had actually _trained_ her younger cousin to take her position for when she left. For most of her commitments, there were no problems—as Nepeta joined her on most of the sports and Eridan was the vice president in all of her committees save Student Court and the Newspaper—though he still did work for her at the paper. The main problem was that Nepeta had a bad case of Hydrophobia, and Eridan couldn’t join the swim team in the place of Meenah, who just left. All he was hoping for was a female student with an interest in swimming to end the manhunt. And also for Feferi to have enough members on the team to compete again—she was a bit obsessed with competition and winning.

        “In _my_ imagination he’th another English, one that’th too young to go away to college any time thoon.” Sollux rolled his eyes, but allowed Eridan’s hand to stay on his shoulder. Jake English had been Aradia’s old spelunking partner, fearless enough to follow her into any off limits dig, but with a car fast enough to keep the two from being caught by the cops—he’d gone away last year leaving a hole in her life that she’d tried to fill with Sollux, who was more comfortable behind a computer than hanging from a rope. The only reason she’d even asked was that she needed someone lighter and thinner than her so that she could send them into what were inevitably scorpion infested crevices so that they could retrieve her small artifacts. She’d done a bit of stress eating when Jake mentioned into getting into his dream school across the country and now could no longer do the incredibly dangerous things she wished to. Nepeta had volunteered, but Equius had tagged along and flatly refused when he saw what she wanted the other girl to do. Nepeta, being two years older than him was under no actual obligation to listen, but Equius, though small, was very strong—and so lifted the older girls over his shoulders and run away from the situation despite all protests from the two women.  

        “I could care less of anything other than them being more interested in table top role play than in going to the desert with that group of hoodlums Nepeta insists upon hanging out with.” Sollux jerked up from his freak out and Eridan took a step back.

        “You know, one of thoehe ‘hoodlumth’ ith my betht friend, not to mention _your_ ex-girlfriend. And unleth my hearing’th going out, and it’th not, you were begging her to get back together after hithory latht week.” Equius had the decency to both blush and began sweating profusely.

        “I…she’s just _so._ I mean—she composed a thesis on a subject that those older than her have just barely begun to grasp, she’s…she…so _brilliant_ , reckless and dangerous, but how someone of her background could be just so… _amazing_ , but…she’s, and…” He coughed into his hand to hide the fierce blush threatening to overtake his face. “I will concede your point. I was foolish to lump her together with the others, and without your saying so—I will admit that Miss Pyrope has a few redeeming qualities. However, Miss Serket is without a doubt—”

        “Oh yeah, pure fucking criminal element, I’m with you. That bitch ith crazy.” Equius flushed at the use of language, but nodded. Eridan shuddered, thinking of all the shit his ex had managed to talk him into. If there was ever a fight between Eridan and Feferi, he’d bring up the fact that she’d set him up with her best swimmer and win instantly, she still owed him from the fact that no one had expected Vriska was actually diagnosed as a psychopath. The diagnosis was from Rose, but it made it no less true—Rose was well on her way to becoming a physiatrist…or a writer, but, still. The door opened again, and the tree turned to see a very pissed Karkat with bloody knuckles enter and slam the door behind him.

        “Holy Piss Shitting Fuck.” The stocky boy was heaving, apparently he’d been running. He staggered into the room and collapsed into a chair. “Sollux can you hack the systems and make sure this fucking brat arrives and soon?” Sollux scoffed and rolled his dual colored eyes.

        “I tried that. Lemme gueth. Gamzee ith—”

        “IN FUCKING TOLERABLE! I MEAN HOLY HELL HOW CAN ONE PERSON BE SUCH A GOD DAMMED FUCK WAGON! I SWEAR IT’S LIKE NORMAL CONCEPTS OF SHUTTING THE FUCK UP HAVE NEVER EVEN OCCURRED TO HIM. WHY CAN’T I MAKE FRIENDS WITH A NORMAL PERSON! NO MY BEST FRIENDS ARE THE BI POLAR ASSHOLE THAT GETS ALONG WITH CODE BETTER THAN PEOPLE, THE WOULD BE NEO NAZI EXCEPT FOR THE FACT HIS BEST FRIEND IS AN INDIAN CHICK, THE AWKWARD AS HELL WALKING BUCKET OF SWEAT AND MORTAR OIL AND TO TOP OFF THIS GOD DAMMED PYRAMID OF FUCK ASSERY—THE DEMENTED ASS CLOWN THAT HAS TWO SETTINGS—NOT GIVING A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING, OR RANTING SO MUCH HE TRANSFORMS INTO A GO DAMMED WORM TO BURROW HIMSELF IN MY EAR AND MAKE ME WANT TO GET A FULL LOBOTOMY JUST TO GET HIS FUCKING VOICE OUT OF MY HEAD!” Karkat screamed long and loud after his rant and left his chair to curl up in the fetal position. The three other boys in the room looked at him for a bit, not moving as he attempted to compose himself. The bell rang, and Eridan left—having to go to his advanced calc. Sollux had the class as well, but opted not to go. Equius had study hall, and so just stayed away from Nepeta for a while longer, or rather he tried—but his phone rang and he groaned before nodding to the two and leaving the room to go to her side. Sollux stayed until the bell rang again, at which point he crossed the room to Karkat and nudged him.

        “K.K.” He asked flatly

        “Go away” Karkat groaned.

        “K.K.” Sollux tried again.

         “I wanna die” Karkat confirmed. Sollux nodded.

        “Yeah, I get that—but if we don’t hurry, we’re gonna be late to third period” Karkat groaned. “You know that class you’re stepmom is subbing?” Karkat shot off the floor so quickly he almost hit Sollux in the face, and was out the door and presumably down the hall in record time. The Pilipino-American blinked heterochromatic eyes twice, before following.

Karkat, due to the fact that he missed being late by the skin of his teeth—was forced to sit by Gamzee…not that he’d have sit anywhere else. He sat by Gamzee in all their shared classes and at lunch. Actually, he was often late due to waiting for Gamzee’s dad to pick him up to take him the few blocks to school just so that they could talk for an extra few minutes. Actually, Gamzee’s father was a work of art because he’d somehow gotten them terribly lost once when he picked Karkat up. Gamzee was literally buzzing. It was almost reminiscent of Sollux during a manic period when he’d had too much coffee. It was also terrifying as fuck, because Gamzee’s dad was going to drive him home today and if that new student didn’t come soon he might actually die, if not from Gamzee’s talking from when the other man noticed the slightly smashed nose the other now sported. Sollux wandered into class before Karkat realized what was wrong.

        “Where the fuck is my mom” He asked. The rest of the students noticed when he did and while some of them looked for the teacher, the others did what high school students did best—everything from retrieving their phones to making paper airplanes.

        “Yoooo, that’s a good ass question best motherfuckin friend. Maybe she all up and vanished on our asses. Else, she got held up by her own little miracle.” Karkat’s head began to pound as Gamzee began to muse out loud about what may have happened to the woman. Karkat himself put a stop to it at “Or maybe your pops all came up and surprised her shit, and she and he are makin some motherfuckin miracle ass little sibling to come run circles ‘round your mind.”

        “Gamzee, another god dammed word out of that fucking maw and I swear to your fake clown gods I will give you worse than a bloody nose this time.” Karkat growled. There were a lot of things in life he didn’t need to think about. His parents doing _anything_ to get him a sibling, was DEFINITELY one of them. Gamzee was about to open his mouth anyway, most likey to spew off something about the miracles of a whole and happy family, when the door opened and spared his life. Melinda Vantas nee Leijon entered, followed behind by a quiet someone that no one had ever seen before.

        “Hello everyone! Sorry I’m late. I had to go to the office and pickup our new student!” She gestured to the person with fanfare, and they gasped and backed up as every eye in the room fixed onto them. The new person took a deep breath, then waved hesitantly. They looked around, presumably for a seat, but Mrs. Vantas grabbed them too quickly for that. “Now Tavris introduce yourself to the class and we’ll find someone to show you around for your first few days!” ‘Tavris’ took a shaky deep breath and coughed once, their voice coming out as an almost whisper.

        “Ah…Hola, umm—He-Loo. Mi llamo es Tavros. Mi inglés esta Mal. Lo Siento.”

        “What was that?” A few of the children started whispering behind Vriska’s loud question. “I didn’t catch any of that, can’t you even say ‘hello’?” Sollux, who hated Vriska almost as much as Eridan did, spoke up then.

        “Roughly tranthlated, Name’th Tavroth, thorry, my Englith thux.” The hacker rolled his eyes behind his glasses, and when Vriska snarled at him, he gave her the smuggest grin he could.

        “Soooooooo ‘Tavoth’” She started, drawing out words the way she sometimes did and mocking Sollux. “Anything interesting you wanna say about yourself? Or are you just to cool for us hmmm?” Tavros was staring at her, trying and failing to comprehend what she’d said using the handful of words he knew in English.

        “Lo siento. No Comprende, mi Ingles es muy mal. Perro, peuquino…no you no…ah…Ingles, English, bad. Small words. Very small, thanking you.” Vriska threw her head back and laughed at the poor child while Tavros blushed at the front of the class.

        “That’s enough Serket, or do you want dentition _again_ this Saturday?” Vriska managed to quell her laughter, though she was still smirking. Mrs. Vantas smiled kindly at the frightened child, before moving to step behind them. “Alright now, who wants to show Tavros around the school for the next week?” A few hands shot into the air (Not Gamzee’s as Karkat was currently holding both of them under the desks to avoid such a fate) but Vriska leapt onto the top of her desk.

        “Why I’d be hoooooooonered to show ‘Tavroth’ around.” Vriska was the most well-known bully in town. It was rumored that her aunt ran a gang up in New York. She managed to steal lunch money, library books, and even homework from any kid that crossed her. So it was no surprise that everyone’s hand went down as soon as she made the announcement. Melinda’s eyes swiveled around the classroom, trying to find anyone who’d save the poor child, but no one wanted to cross Vriska’s path. The Scorpio smiled widely, and a lesser man would say that she had fangs. “Well, ain’t that a shame, it seems like no one else wants to so I’d better just take—”

        “YO TEACH, LET ME SHOW THAT MIRACLE AROUND!” Everyone turned to see Gamzee nearly out of his seat from stretching his hand. Karkat’s hands were folded firmly on his desk, and he glared at Vriska with the fiery passion of a thousand red hot suns.

        “YES!” Melinda nearly jumped for joy. “Yes, mister Makara, I’ll submit the paperwork to the office as soon as class is over. Tavros, you can go sit by Gamzee” She practically pushed the poor Latino to the clown in the opposite corner from the glowering blonde. Gamzee managed to produce a chair from only he knew where, and it was there Tavros sat.

         “Hola, ah-He—Loo. Gracias Amigo, ah—thanking you. Nin—girl, scary. Is right word? No me diga.” Karkat groaned, causing Gamzee and Tavros to look at him.

          “Yo, what the motherfuck happened best friend?” Karkat shuddered once.

          “I burnt down the _whole ship_ to kill the captain.” He glared at Vriska, who looked as if she were planning his murder. “So fucking worth it” He turned to Tavros again. “My mane’s Karkat, the idiot that’s your guide is Gamzee and…” He trailed off as Tavros blinked at him blankly. “You have no fucking idea what I’m saying, great. Just perfect, Vriska’s the bitch to end all bitches, but she does actually know Spanish. We’re fucked.” Gamzee grinned widley.

          “Nah that miracle’s gon up and understand our speakin and shit. Just gotta follow what the heart says is a motherfucker’s truth.” He nodded serenely to himself.

          “Moo—the—fuch? No me diga, ummm que?”  Karkat slammed his hand up to his head. This was going to be an unmitigated disaster. An idea came to him, there was a chance they could fix this disaster, a miniscule chance, but one none the less.

 

Said chance presented itself at lunch. Karkat was terrified. While the main office was still sorting out Tavros’ schedule, that meant that Gamzee had the kid following him all day. Karkat was horrified come 7th period lunch; he could only hope that no one was skipping to do homework in the library. He quickly located his friend group. They had considered it lucky in September when they all had the same lunch period, but now it was mid-February, and half the group was completely done with the other half. Karkat brought his plate to their usual table, where Feferi and Eridan had taken over a quarter of it with plans for the school. Nepeta was on Feferi’s other side, looking through playbooks for the teams. Equius was on Nepeta’s other side, tinkering with something that was just as likely for Shop class as it was a personal project. Karkat slammed down his tray.

          “Where’s Aradia?” He asked the startled assortment of his friends.

          “Purr—sumably with Sollux, I haven’t seen her since before school started. Why?” He groaned and slid unto the bench.

          “Peruvians speak Spanish, right?” There were only confused looks to meet his question.

          “Kar, what’s wrong?” Eridan asked.

          “Good news and bad news. The good news is that the new student came in” This was met with cheers around the table and some gossip from the girls about what they were like. “THERE IS BAD NEWS” Everyone stopped to stare at Karkat again. “Vriska was about to show them around school” At once the whispers started again, and Karkat’s eye twitched with anger. “COULD YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR A MINUTE SHE DIDN’T!” Everyone stopped to stare. “To stop Vriska, I let Gamzee volunteer.”

          “Oh, you had us worried. That’s not so bad Kar—crab.” Feferi grinned. “I bet Gamzee’s bringing her over right now. She’s prob—bubbly an amazing swimmer too!” Feferi trailed off, thinking of her perfect exchange student.

          “OH! Our Teach—purr mentioned her, Tavris right? I can’t wait to meet her, I wonder if she’s into larping.” Karkat frowned

          “I think they said their name was Tavros?” He shrugged. “It’s probably a pronunciation thing.” Equius frowned, but didn’t actually say anything to that. “Besides, that’s not the bad news I was talking about.”

          “What’s the bad news then?” Feferi asked. She didn’t need to ask. The bad news picked that particular moment to make itself known.

          “Hey Motherfuckers!” Gamzee greeted cheerfully. The new student only a half-step behind him.

          “He—loo Moo—the—fuch—ahs. Grate—ing. I am up and Tavros.” Gamzee didn’t seem to notice everyone else’s horrified expressions. He was grinning brightly at Tavros, who had possibly been repeating what they were told to.

          “Oh my glub” Feferi deadpanned as she finished processing what had just happened in front of her.

          “I understand why you mentioned there was a problem.” Equius sighed as he took off his ever present shades to massage his temples.

          “Kar, why did you think it was a good idea to leave Gamzee alone with someone that doesn’t understand English?” Eridan asked worriedly.

          “Again, him or Vriska” The group nodded, admitting to themselves that Gamzee, who had since sat down and was attempting to communicate to Tavros that they were allowed to sit, was the better option in that one specific scenario. Equius sighed and replaced his shades.

          “While I appreciate your quick thinking Karkat, this is a terrible idea and will be rectified at once.” With that the twelve year old spun in his place, turning to Tavros and firing off a series of questions in crisp Spanish. Karkat blinked.

          “Yooo, you speak that motherfuckin miracle language too my equine motherfucker?” Gamzee grinned. Equius ignored him to continue interrogating Tavros, though several times during the conversation, he ended up blushing or sweating…or both. After a few minutes of talking, Tavros sat down at the table next to Gamzee, with a small but firm smile on his face. Equius sighed.

          “Her name is Tavris, but she prefers to be called Tavros and identifies as male, which is ridiculous as if she is born female she is obviously still a—hmm” Nepeta had quickly removed the objects from her tray and used it to soundly _tap_ the back of Equius’ head with all of her impressive upper body strength. Her best friend winced and held the back of his now pounding head, before committing the lesson to memory. It may have also had something to do with the fact that she was still holding said tray, which now sported a small dent. “ _He_ also refuses to leave Gamzee’s side. They’ve bonded, even if he can’t understand him.” Karkat chanced a look at the two, Gamzee had a grin on his face that was even more stupid than usual as he stared at Tavros and Tavros was looking at the clown out of the sides of his eye rather than directly.

          “Yeah, bonded. I bet.” He shook his head at the two idiots to the side of him. Feferi snickered, as it was obvious to anyone not as blind as Terezi exactly what ‘bonded’ meant. The two had mutual crushes.

          “I have also” Equius continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “Volunteered to tutor him in English as to supplement the substandard educational standards set by the school”

          “Translated—I learned Spanish to try and im—purr—ess Aradia, but she broke up with me be—fur I could show it off. So now I know the language and am entirely free on Saturday afternoons while Nepeta’s with her roleplay group.”  Equius blushed terribly, but said or did nothing to dispute the claim, he merely coughed. 

          “Be the reasons I do know Spanish, and Tavros has agreed, so I shall take him to my house tonight so that he knows the address to get dropped off.” Feferi stood then.

          “Well, it was nice to meet you Tav—come cheer for the swim team sometimes! We’re really good, I promise.” With that she left—long dark hair spilling in waves down her back, headed to the library to print out more flyers for the last swimmer they needed.

          “Equius, I need to ask you a favor” Eridan pleaded as soon as she was far enough away. “I need you to ask Tavris something for me.”

          “I just put my food back on the tray” Nepeta scowled at him, and moved to take her food back off said tray.

          “No, no, no—I know she’s a boy, I’m just desperate.” Eridan explained. He began to talk to Equius again. “Tell him that his binder’s probably bad for that sweater—cause it’s warm and it must be sea—ltering under there.” Equius spoke, though no one knew if he was accurately translating. “I can buy you binders, hell, I’ll buy you a whole wardrobe, just please, _please_ join the girl’s swim team.” Equius stopped translating and the whole table turned to look at him. In response he picked up the prom planning journal and showed it to them. Turns out he’d been trying to convince Feferi away from an ‘Under the sea’ theme.

          “Oh…she’s bad” Nepeta admitted looking at the plans.

          “Keep looking” Eridan leaned over to flip the page.

          “SHE WANTS TO FLOOD THE GYM!!!!!” Nepeta screeched. Eridan nodded solemnly. “Equius translate” She ordered. Her friend was quick to do so, possibly adding the information about the gym, because Tavros blanched before he nodded. 

          “Oh thank Jesus” Eridan sighed. “Ask him when he wants to go shopping” Before lunch ended, the group had managed to separate Tavros’ time like he was a pie chart. He was going to hang out with Gamzee at school until his schedule was finalized, on Friday afternoons he would go over to Equius’ house to learn English, He would join the role play campaign Nepeta led on Tuesday afternoons, He’d hang out with Gamzee again, this time with Karkat on Thursday afternoons, Monday and Wednesday afternoons, as well as Saturday mornings were swim practice, and alternating Saturday afternoons and Sundays were reserved for whatever other friends he might make, but the first Saturdays were reserved for shopping with Eridan. He was also allowed to use the alternating Saturday s to go over to Equius if he felt he still needed help with his English. This worked well, until the end of the month when he got his new and finalized schedule. He and Gamzee only had lunch together, and while Karkat or Nepeta were in most of his classes, so was Vriska.

        “Heeeeeeeey Tav” Vriska slammed her hands on his desk before Nepeta arrived to 5th period math. He flinched, as he often did when she was around without Terezi, Feferi, or another buffer. “ ~~So here’s what I don’t get. You’re on the swim team, but everyone insist that you’re a guy. So either way, you’re lying. I haven’t seen you use the bathroom once since you got here. Is anything even working down there? Or are you hiding being an ever bigger freak than previously thought?”~~ Tavros blushed fiercely at the invasive question. Vriska, sensing she struck a nerve opened her mouth to prove exactly how much of a bitch she could be, when a crisp voice cleared his throat behind her.

        “TAVROS!” Nepeta leapt forward to give him a hug while Equius glowered at the 15 year old girl that towered over him. “Did she say anything to you? She’s already on thin ice for god moding during our last campaign.” Nepeta turned to scowl at Vriska as well and she scoffed before flipping her long hair.

        “Fine, I can see when I’m not wanted. I’m going” with that she went to her seat on the other side of the classroom, heals clicking the floor as she did.

        “Thank you” Tavros said, and gave Nepeta and Equius a group hug. “She is…uh cruel? Is word? No me Diga.”  Equius nodded.

        “Si, cruel. You had the right word” Equius assured him.

        “I think the word he was looking for was ‘bitch’ but, sure cruel” Nepeta commented. Equius blushed again.

        “Nepeta!” She shrugged.

        “I call it like I see it. Now go, or you’ll be late to chem.” Equius nodded once, and bade them both goodbye before bolting to class. Nepeta giggled at him before turning back to Tavros. “Are you sure you’re alright? Do you want some fighting lessons?” Tavros blinked at her. While Equius was a great teacher and he was utilizing the twice a week, he was still having a few issues here and there. Nepeta had, by now, figured out his ‘I don’t understand this’ face. It was usually seen right before Aradia translated for him during campaigns. She hugged him once, because he didn’t understand and she didn’t know how to explain better. The bell rang then, and the two sat down for class.

 

Across the school, Karkat was having his own problems. Gamzee had rushed him in the hall and had taken him to the now unused empty classroom that previously held meetings on Tavros. The problem was that Gamzee was frantic, and when frantic, Gamzee did one of two things. Either he ranted and raved and made Karkat want to seriously hurt him, or he went completely silent and only made odd gestures with his hands that Karkat had long since accepted as a Makara family habit. Gamzee’s dad had once started to do it when they got stuck in traffic. Gamzee was currently doing the second option, pacing the room with his hands flailing wildly and his teeth biting, yet another hole in his lips. Karkat took a deep breath to avoid punching out the clown across the room.

        “Gamzee. Everything’s fine he ground out. It did nothing. “Gamzee” The hands went wilder in response. “LISTEN TO ME YOU RETARDED ASS FUCK” Gamzee honked in surprise, but stopped moving. Karkat sighed again. “Gamzee whatever the problem is, you know I’ll always be there for you right?” Gamzee continued to hyperventilate, his hands still doing his odd tick. It was then that Karkat realized there were tear tracks down his face. The albino sighed deeply. “I will help you with anything you stupid clown, that’s what friends are for.”

        “You mean that Kar—bro?” Gamzee asked at once. Karkat nodded, and he was swept up into a tight hug by the older male. “Thank you” Gamzee breathed in his ear once, watery and full of gratitude. “Thanks so fuckin much. I mean…I just can’t…I tried…but.” Gamzee hiccupped a bit with his tears, and Karkat just buried his hands in his friend’s braids and just held him close. He allowed Gamzee to cry on him for the rest of the period, waiting for the clown to tell him the problem. But he didn’t, and come sixth Karkat pushed the older male off of him.

        “For god’s sake, look at your fucking face you idiot ass.” Gamzee honked at him, not understanding in his mind what tears did to face paint and not understanding that it was either weakened or in some place gone entirely—allowing his dark skin to shine through. “Stay here, I’ll go get some more paint from your locker.” Gamzee obediently stayed in the room as Karkat went to get the aforementioned item. Gamzee was weird about letting himself go anywhere without his paint perfect and few people had ever seen him without it, Karkat had—but only a few times and usually in shadow. It was another Makara family trait, and Karkat could probably write the book on them. Gamzee’s face was ready in time for the two of them to waltz into lunch, where Aradia and Tavros were having a deep discussion. She looked up at the two and nodded her head to address them, then returned to the conversation with Tavros.

        ~~“I’m pretty sure he likes you. You should just ask him. If he doesn’t say yes, just for the ice cream itself _I’ll_ take you out for ice cream. How’s that?”~~ Tavros blushed brightly, and chanced a look back at Gamzee, who had pulled a mirror out of nowhere and was admiring his face as well as complimenting Karkat on a good job.

        ~~“As nice as that is, I don’t want you to take me for ice cream…oh wow that sounded jerky—I’d love to go out for ice cream sometime but I”~~ Aradia cut him off

        ~~“You want _him_ to go with you for ice cream. I understand.”~~ She fake sniffled, and the small part of her that was a sadist enjoyed the look of panic of Tavros’ face when he thought he’d upset her.

        ~~“It’s nothing personal Aradia.”~~ He quickly tried to backtrack. She threw her head back and laughed at him.

        ~~“Like I’m so thin skinned as to take that personally.”~~ He blushed at that and she reached over to ruffle his Mohawk. ~~“You should really just ask though.”~~ Tavros nodded, bit his lip and looked over.

        “Gamzee” Gamzee turned his head and smiled a full teeth smile that lit up to his eyes with joy.

        “Yeah Tav my man?” Tavros blushed, and Aradia rolled her eyes as she saw the exact second the other decided to give up.

        “Uh, hi!” Tavros quickly ducked his head to turn back to Aradia, who was shaking her head at him. “ ~~I know”~~ He declared, switching back to Spanish. “ ~~that was pathetic”~~ Aradia nodded

        “ ~~Kinda”~~ She agreed. “ ~~But on the plus side, you managed to say ‘hi’ in English so… _progress?_ ”~~ Tavros glared at her, while she somehow kept up the half smirk without bursting into laughter.

 

Karkat was somehow not prepared for Gamzee to arrive later that night with an overnight bag full of books. He didn’t have the strength. The young man was raping at his window rapidly with a grin on his painted face. Karkat groaned and wondered again why he let Kankri have the upstairs bedroom. He crossed and opened the window for Gamzee.

        “What the fuck are you doing here?” He asked as Gamzee climbed into his bedroom window like he was welcome…which he was, but not at 3 in the morning. “And why don’t you just use the front fucking door and let my dad send you away. For that matter how the ever-loving Christ did you get here, you live like an hour away.”

        “You motherfucking said I could all up and get me school feed on at your place so that I’d be ready by next Thursday.” Karkat blinked at him. It was now, technically Friday. Gamzee must have been packing since he got home, and while it wasn’t the first time the other had been to Karkat’s for a sleepover during the week, never before now had it been for a whole week. Karkat groaned as Gamzee flipped over his bag, spilling out what had to be every Spanish book the library offered.

        “Hold up, I’m supposed to help you learn a whole language by in a week?” Gamzee looked almost hurt, and it was then that Karkat remembered what his big mouth had promised just earlier in the day. He sighed from his toes. “Why the fuck not, I’m not gonna get back to sleep.” He picked up the first book, ‘Spanish pickup lines—impress your Latin lover’ and sighed again. It was the longest week Karkat could recall. Every day he went to school exhausted ‘cause Gamzee had been keeping him up all night studying, then he gave up all of his lunch and study periods. Gamzee was more serious about Spanish than Karkat had ever seen before, he’d almost gone to school without his paint! Luckily, there was some extra kept in the Vantas bathroom. Karkat’s father was across the country doing his motivational speaking, but Kankri was home and complained loudly about Gamzee’s presence—only shut up by the assurance that everything would be back to normal next week.

 

Next Thursday, Karkat went to find Tavros. Gamzee was an idiot, but when he got an idea in his head it was almost impossible to get any semblance of logic in there alongside it. Tavros was playing Pokémon on a beat up old Gameboy, and Karkat took a deep breath before wishing a fond farewell to peace in any form.

        “Hey Tav” The boy looked up, and smiled at seeing Karkat. “Follow me.” Confused Tavros blinked and opened his mouth to ask a question, but Karkat put his palm up—stopping it there. “No, don’t just…please follow me.” The blush on Karkat’s face could put the sun to shame, but Tavros obediently got up to follow the other boy. Karkat led him behind the bleachers, blushing all the way. There were a few streamers set up and a ‘trail’ or red paper that had been crudely cut out into the rough shape of rose petals. Tavros started blushing too, and started a litany of Spanish that Karkat couldn’t understand. “Just…follow the path”

He pointed harshly, and when Tavros didn’t move he literally pushed the other down the ‘path’, then left muttering to himself about idiot fucking clowns. Tavros followed the path to where Gamzee was waiting, a bouquet of wildflowers and poison ivy in his soon to be itching hands. Karkat had probably been the one to twist his braids back for him and gel them down. He was wearing probably the only button down shirt he owned, even though it was still wrinkled.

          “Holla Tav, me a—me—go.” Tavros blinked at Gamzee a few times, and then realized that he was attempting to speak Spanish. Gamzee looked down at the hand not holding flowers, which Tavros now saw was covered in smudged ink. “Uhh, oh—Tu es muy Guaco e I umm” Gamzee brought his smudged hand closer to his eyes. “Ah, I muy gusto tu cab—essay.” Gamzee dropped his hand then, smiling brightly. “E ifin tu gutso me, we vammos e uhh” He checked his head once more. “Come—ir. That says food right?” He was now inspecting his hand and Tavros was trying not to laugh too hard. Gamzee looked up then, as if realizing the other boy was still there, and let out a forced laugh. He held up the flowers, almost as if they’d protect him from rejection. Tavros almost skipped over to his new silly boyfriend.

          “I should have listened Aradia. She told me ask you” He giggled. “It might save you from poison ivy.” Gamzee gasped, dropping the flowers instantly. Tavros laughed at him, not able to help himself. The clown pouted a bit but brightened when Tavros came over and pecked his cheek. “Is ok.” Tavros assured him. “Know home remedy for go away. We apply while eat. Is good?” Gamzee grinned like he’d eaten the sun, and Karkat heard the other boy’s whoop of joy while he was at home catching up on a week’s worth of homework.  


End file.
